Thursday, May 8, 2008

today i drugged my child (or, the all-potty-all-the-time blog)

well, maybe not drugged, exactly. let me back up a bit.

the peepee bidness may be on the upswing, thanks to my friend susan's suggestion of nakie-ness. how does this work? well, timmy loves to play outside, but going outside requires undies. we won't have any undies to wear if we keep putting peepees in our undies. wham! connections made in his little-guy brain! (this theory is still in the testing phase.)

you see, timmy can control his bladder function. he has simply chosen to keep his peepees out of the potty seat. i know this because he kept his undies clean and dry (and used the potty seat) all afternoon and evening yesterday at dinner out and then playing at chuck e. cheese's. he was wholly motivated, as i'd clearly let him know if he at any time put his peepees in his undies, rather than in the potty seat, we would immediately return home.

this morning, though. (big sigh) no outrageous fun planned, so no potty seat motivation. until the great nakie-ness of 2008 began. it worked today, and we'll continue tomorrow and beyond, as long as necessary.

but a boy cannot survive without the whole potty package. that is - and please excuse my indelicacy here - poopies are necessary! we haven't had little guy poopies here since friday. six days! i've sneaked (snuck? no, i think sneaked) finely chopped prunes into his oatmeal every morning without result.

timmy's pediatrician is not worried, unlike timmy's mommy and daddy. she suggested miralax at 1/4 adult dosage. so, during dinner tonight, i offered timmy some of daddy's soda. note: small boys do not drink soda. small boys drink water and milk and juice. so you can imagine the enthusiasm with which timmy accepted my gracious (umm . . . guilt-ridden) offer of caffeine-free pepsi secretly laced with poopie powder.

oh, how i fervently hope drugging my child doesn't drive him to therapy in years to come.

No comments: