picnic tables!

so, i loves me some knock off wood. love! i've built several items, and have many more on my to do list.

most of the kids in our families seem to have been born in the summer months, so . . . kid-sized picnic tables were our gift of choice this year. well, those and magician/superhero capes and tutus.

but i digress. i made picnic tables. lots of them. (with a few modifications to the plans.) and timmy helped me.

i loved building them. ana really makes the plans so easy to follow. more like recipes than building plans. they were so sturdy! i filled my screw holes, sanded well, and put a lot of work into the painting. i cut and assembled the first two at the same time and then primed and painted them - a pain in the hiney!

after those first two, i cut, primed and painted the individual pieces, then assembled and touched up. took as much time - maybe even a little more - but it was way easier than trying to reach and get good coverage on all the undersides, in betweens and tight angles.

i have built nothing in weeks - these 100+ degree temps suck every bit of energy right out of me! i have two more picnic tables to build, then i'm on to timmy's headboard. then? who knows!

my plan to solve our illegal immigration problem (but first, some griping)

the topic of illegal immigration is certainly not what i had in mind when i decided to blog. nope. i just wanted a quicker way to keep a journal. but sheesh! this arizona law and the federal challenge to it - and all the uproar from both sides of the political aisle? i have been thinking so much about it, and i've been so sickened by the rhetoric that i decided i have to record my thoughts on the matter. because i may not remember them in a week, let alone in thirty years. so, here goes.

first, here's the arizona law: arizona senate bill 1070, as ammended by house bill 2162. (at the time of this writing, the law has not yet gone into effect, so the link provides a pdf labeled "unofficial.") i read the text of the bill/law. it's very short, as bills/laws go, and quite easy to understand.

i think i've seen hundreds of reports by the news media (and interviews with obama administration officials and others) that portray the law as racially biased or even as hateful.

i have also seen clips of president obama's speech in iowa, where he gave an example of what the arizona law could lead to - if you're a hispanic person in arizona, taking your children to an icecream parlor, the police might harass you.

but i don't like to believe what i see or hear or read in the media. and i don't like to make a judgment based on one little soundbite. so, i went to the source (the white house posted the entire speech here) to listen to what came before and after the icecream comment so i could gain some context.

the icecream story begins approximately 48:50 minutes into president obama's speech. he says, "you know, you can try to make it really tough on people who look like they, quote, might be illegal immigrants. one of the things that the law says is local officials are allowed to ask somebody who they have a suspicion might be an illegal immigrant for their papers. you can imagine if you are a hispanic american in arizona, your great-grandparents may have been there since before arizona was even a state. but now, suddenly, if you don't have your papers and you took your kid out to get icecream, you're going to be harassed. that's something that could potentially happen."

wow. i have two main objections to mr. obama's example. first, the law (read it; link above) clearly states - in several places - law enforcement officials "may not consider race, color or national origin in implementing the requirements" of the law. also clearly stated is that a person must have already been stopped, detained or arrested for another matter before being asked to verify identity/legal status. (and guess what? a driver's license will do it! sheesh.)

my second objection is the president's and others' notion that police officers will of course "act stupidly." as the wife of a cop . . . this jumped right out at me from the first time i heard an objection to the law -and i was shocked how long it went on without anyone coming to cops' defense! none of the cops i know is a racist, but maybe the best thing i could say about cops in general is that it does not matter what their private opinions may be - they don't bring them to the job. they enforce laws. they help people. they take a lot of . . . crap . . . the rest of us are not required to suffer, yet they continue to treat every person with respect. but are we supposed to believe this would all change instantly when the arizona law goes into effect? not a chance. cops are owed a huge apology from this administration, if you ask me.

aaanyway . . . my plan, in a nutshell:

1. no more anchor baby status
2. secure the borders
3. develop guest worker program
4. develop transition alien program
5. deport all criminal aliens
6. speed up lawful immigration process
7. never put our country through this again!

immediately do away with "anchor babies." not the actual babies. :) just let's recognize this amendment was created to allow former slaves to be citizens. it is no longer relevant. abolish the anchor baby status. then, continue the rest of the plan:

first, secure the borders. physically. build a fence. electrify it. add more border patrol guards. dogs, even. add electronic surveillance. do whatever it takes to physically secure the borders. make it a crime (not a "civil crime") to enter the u.s. illegally. maybe a misdemeanor the first time and a felony the second? deport them all, but mostly, prevent the entrance.

secondly, establish a guest worker program for people who are NOT currently here illegally. we had one in the past; it worked. if it needs to be "tweaked," fine.

thirdly, deal with the illegal immigrants already here. establish a 6-month registration period. call those who register "transition aliens," maybe. (those illegal immigrants who don't register within the established time frame? deport them. however we come to know about them - gather them up and deport them immediately. illegal alien felons? deport them immediately; no opportunity to register for transition alien program.) issue transition alien numbers to those who register within the time frame and allow the transition aliens to work in the private sector (no government jobs). pay them no less than minimum wages, and no less than the prevailing wages earned (in whatever position they work) by citizens. no pay discrimination!

create a separate income tax rate for transition aliens (but not for the companies who hire them lawfully). they should pay higher taxes as a penalty for breaking our laws and coming here illegally. not a one-time penalty, but a higher income tax rate, plus a yearly tax per person for whatever amount. for example, a family of two parents (only one who is working) immigrated illegally, then had three children and one grandparent then came to live with them: the working parent's transition alien income tax would be deducted from his/her paycheck just like other income taxes are withheld from lawful resident's paychecks. the yearly tax for the other parent, the children (whether citizens under the former anchor baby statutes or not) and the grandparent could also be deducted from the paycheck, or paid at the time of filing. these yearly taxes would help defray the cost of education for transition alien children.

prohibit transition aliens from participating in any government entitlements: no medicare, no welfare, no medicaid, etc. this sounds harsh, i know, but i think it must be this way. churches and other charities will take care of the needy, as it should be. eligibility should begin when citizenship is earned. transition aliens should be allowed to purchase health insurance in the private sector, of course.

require the transition alien to learn english within a reasonable time frame (one year? two years?). require the transition alien to learn american history, civics, etc. testing is a must. if possible, allow these classes to be sponsored and taught by volunteers.

if a transition alien commits a felony (or multiple misdemeanors), deport him/her. prohibit him/her from applying for re-entry for a reasonable period (say, 10 years) for less-serious offenses or forever for felonies and more serious misdemeanors. his/her family may choose to stay or go.

finally, allow transition aliens to become resident aliens, or even citizens, after a significant period of time following all the rules as transition aliens. the transition alien program must end within a specified amount of time. (there will be no more illegal immigrants eligible to become transition aliens after the 6-month registration period - people entering unlawfully once the border is secured will be immediately deported, but i hope prevented from entering in the first place!)

certainly, we can debate how long it should take someone to work through the transition alien status, but we must first speed up the lawful immigration process. the dramatic reduction in illegal immigration caused by securing our borders should (must!) allow lawful immigration applications to be processed much more quickly. no more 120 year wait lists!

then we can decide the lifespan of the transition alien program. but it is of utmost importance that working through the transition alien status to become a resident alien or citizen take longer than it takes a person to immigrate lawfully. in other words - illegal immigrants (who become transition aliens) "go to the back of the line."

lawful immigrants are vital to our nation's success, so let's get this thing worked out, already!

hermit carpentry

hobbies are the methadone to my workaholism. prior to my timmy-induced sabbatical, there was a time my husband "requested" i gain some balance. work - whether in the office, on the road or on my laptop at home - took an average of 85 hours of my week.

now, i never missed one of the kids' ball games or school functions, but i missed plenty of family dinners and regular ol' time at home. even as i type this, waves of guilt and remorse wash over me. the precious, fleeting time i wasted away from my family!

one night, as i drove home from yet another couple days out of town, hubs called and brought to my attention that i hadn't eaten dinner with my family in a month. (guilt tsunami, here.) it hit me like a ton of bricks. i loved my work, but not like i love my family.

so, i tried beaded jewelry, furniture re-upholstery (blech. soon after, we bought new furniture.), knitting, sewing (purses! quilts! couch cozies!), scrapbooking and photography.

enter knock off wood. oh, ana white, how i love thee and thy recipe-style woodworking plans that allow someone who has never picked up a hammer to build beautiful wood furniture. ana's site is called "knock off wood" because she creates plans for pottery barn and land of nod, etc. "knocks offs." actually, her plans are better because we builders can choose much higher quality materials. and save oodles of fweet moolah.

case in point? my first project: timmy's bed. here is ana's inspiration. please pay no attention to the messy cubbies (i'm still deciding whether to do bins or drawers) or the mismatched pillowcase. or, now that i take a good look, the "nursery colors" of his walls, doors and windows. clearly, i need to update.

also, see the flat wall bookholder? it seriously took me maybe a half hour to make. from scraps!

i plan to build a headboard base and hutch next. well, next for this room. you see, i have several plans on my list of to-do's . . . just have to prioritize and organize my schedule.

what a day already!

today is the 12th of the month. 12-of-12. i could fill my page with pictures of temper tantrums and time-outs. maybe even if today were 30-of-30, lol. but i'm determined to keep my patience and my good humor. i have taken just one photo of one time-out.

yesterday i finished my pre-work layout for cathy zielske's "design your life" class at big picture scrapbooking. it was torture, i'll be honest. even though we were given exact measurements, colors and basic layout (nine squares).

my scanner isn't twelve inches wide, so i scanned from one edge, then from the other and combined them in photoshop elements. i wonder how other people do that . . .

i'm still worried i will not be successful in this class. i have an abstract picture in my mind of exactly how i want my pages to look and what i want them to "do," but rarely can i translate that idea into reality. (much like how i cannot translate the precise mathematical calculations i make on the golf course into a long straight drive.)

by the end of this class, i expect to know a lot about design. i also expect to have a much higher level of scrapbooking comfort. i want to be able to put a photo and story down on paper in a pleasing manner and in a reasonable time frame and with a minimum amount of emotional discomfort. that's it! so, cz, don't fail me!

a wild hair

by the end, the hair on my head will most certainly be a little wild (it is humid, as well as 104 degrees today, which results in corkscrews and general frizziness), but what i really mean is that i've got a crazy obsessive idea in my head that i cannot stop myself from acting upon. you know - a wild hair.

you see, my bedroom is a pit. and i can. not. tolerate. it! not one moment longer. i dreamed last night that i got a new bedroom. beautiful hardwoods with a gorgeous wool berber rug and nothing visible save my sparsely-yet-comfortably-clad bed. and then i woke up and tripped over tim's book on the way to the bathroom. i need (need!) a calm, serene, orderly, clean bedroom. my husband? not so much.

my husband . . . oh, it raises my blood pressure just to think about it . . . is a pack-rat. he loves stuff. he loves multiples of his stuff. he loves his stuff and their multiples to remain accessible to him in any area of the house. when he and i met, we were like long-lost soulmates. it took a few years for our few differences to become obvious. and this thing with stuff? it's a big one.

used to be, it was just tim's closet and dresser drawers that were chaotic and scary. i'd bravely venture in twice a year or so to clean and organize them. not because he asked me to, no. huh-uh. he would prefer i stay out of his things. no, the pressure would just build within me until i felt i could no longer survive unless i cleaned, sorted and organized his areas. then, ever so slowly, the madness began taking over our home. our lives. i may be exaggerating. but if i am, it is to such an infinitesimal degree that it may as well be the whole unvarnished truth.

anyway, i gradually got more and more discouraged and finally gave up. and now, my room is horrible.

i should note that tim fully intends to hang up every shirt, to put every tie in the tie holder, to put every pair of boots and shoes away on his shoe shelves in his closet, to put every ball cap away in his ball cap holders, to throw away the (insane amount of) pocket stuff he arrives home with each day. but he never gets around to it. then, he begins to think of the piles as storage devices in their own right. he really, truly cannot understand why i get so upset about it.

but today? today i can conquer anything! i have a wild hair on my side! i've already got two bags of clothes to send to goodwill. i had to stop to feed the kids lunch and put them down for a nap . . . and take a manic-typing break because i was close to passing out from heat exhaustion (have i ever mentioned our house is old and so is our heating and air conditioning unit? and that our really big bedroom has ONE really small vent? yeah. we freeze in our room in winter and boil in summer.) but now i'm cool and still possess my wild hair.

i'm off! please pray for me. and if i do not emerge before nightfall, please send help.

the great tomato experiment of '08

i am generally the cautious, logical type. but that doesn't prevent me getting a wild hair every once in a while. and growing tomatoes upside down? doesn't get much wilder than that. for me, anyway. (note: this is a lie. i am always coming up with one scheme or another. ideas just come to me. sometimes in the shower. frequently in a dream. more on this at a later date. just know for now that i really am a cautious, logical person, but creativity occasionally explodes directly from my brain and right onto tim's to-do list.)

my mom grew a garden every year when i was a kid. tim's mom, too. they enjoyed the whole "working the earth" thing, sure, but their gardens' primary purpose was to feed their families. fresh produce during the summer and monster canning sessions to "put up" peas, tomatoes, green beans, etc. for the winter.

i, however, do not till the earth. i do not toil under the summer sun. i am quite certain i could operate a lawnmower, but i am just as certain that i would not. (this is not to say i never go outside. i spend the majority of my day outside. but only because timmy is an outside kind of guy.)

i did try to grow tomatoes and peppers in decorative barrels last year. actually, no. i didn't try. i grew. but the harvest was paltry due to the scarcity of direct sunlight in our yard. delicious but paltry. and i tried to grow an herb garden in my kitchen this winter and spring. i lavished love and attention and an appropriate daily amount of grow light upon my seeds until they became spindly adolescents who never, ever matured until i eventually lost interest after months of care and passive aggressively forgot to water them so they wilted and then dried up and so they remain to this day, a sad, crispy testament to my gardening skills.

monday during naptime, i read blogs. i came upon oh my stinkin heck's upside down tomatoes post. i was smitten. i vowed that i, too, would grow tomatoes upside down.

the abridged version (as if brevity is my forte) is this: i bought metal hanging planters (learned from others' mistakes and ascertained there was a hole in the center bottom) with coconut fiber liners . i cut a slit in the bottom of each liner large enough to easily pass my tomato plant's root ball through, from under the bottom of the planter to the inside of the liner. then i pulled the coconut fibers around the slit to kind of mesh it all back together around the stem of the tomato plant so no soil would fall through. filled the planter with potting soil and planted herbs in the top of the basket. then i hung them on hooks on my front porch, watered them and took some pictures.

see how the tomato plant is poking through the bottom of the planter? upside down? see how the basket is not hanging in a strictly vertical orientation? it was really, really, windy! so windy that at one point, timmy (who, with ethan, was working alongside me with the plastic herb pots and some driveway gravel, planting a bindweed vine and another weed i'd pulled from the shrubs in front of the porch) screamed out, "oh, no! i have soil in my eyes! call the fire department and the garbage men!"

see the pretty rosemary and those sassy chives? this one's got an "early girl" tomato plant. i used two early girls and one "tumbling tom." up top, we've got the rosemary and chives. another has oregano and chives and the third (the first picture above) has flat leaf parsley, sweet basil and cilantro. yumster!

see my sleepy husband? he works nights. but that didn't stop me from waking him up so he could marvel at my mad gardening skilz. hmm, now that i really look, he doesn't seem as in awe as i thought he'd be. in fact, he seems a bit puzzled, no?

*edited to add: whoowee! i didn't realize i could click on tim's picture above and up would pop the original size photo. i can see my reflection in his eyes! how cool is that?! note to self: next time, photoshop about 30lbs off my reflection.